Unhappy in the Pursuit of Happiness
The pursuit of happiness. Well that is no easy concept to tackle. Yet, it’s something that has come up multiple times over the last week - on podcasts, in conversations, through random waves of contemplation.
To what degree has this notion of the “pursuit of happiness” played a role in laying the foundation for the world I’ve constructed around me? To what degree has this notion contributed to the formulation of assumptions I’ve built my reality in accordance to? This constant pursuit of something outside of ourselves. This programmed hunt for something external - a destination, an achievement, a partner - that will be the source of our happiness.
This notion of the pursuit of happiness is all around us; it’s the foundation on which the majority of our media has been constructed. From the time we are toddlers, this paradigm seeps into the fibers of our identities; as we develop our belief systems and try to make sense of a world unfolding in front of our very eyes, the pursuit of happiness is the only reality we know how to safely exist within.
The very survival of our identity - the “I” that we’ve created, laid brick by brick and cemented together by the constant reinforcement of this reality - depends on the existence and validity of this paradigm; a paradigm in which our existence is defined by the pursuit of happiness. A paradigm that has been mistaken for law. Without this cement between the bricks, there is no stability. Without the cement - the constant reinforcement of this paradigm - our identity would collapse with the inevitable winds that characterize humanity’s tumultuous existence.
The unsettling observation is that - to some degree, the perceived safety of our identity - our concept of self - needed this paradigm to exist ; it is the very foundation that supports the house that “I” live in. In turn, “I” adhere to and create a life that further perpetuates my safe reality. See how this cyclical nature - when left unexamined - creates a never ending cycle of suffering?
What if we were to challenge this paradigm and question this notion? Question how we truly relate to the pursuit of happiness. Instead, getting still and asking ourselves, to what extent have I lived my life, thus far, operating from this paradigm? Operating from this mindset of lack and constant pursuit? Impatient and in a rush to attain - attain a certain position, an accolade, a partner, a number in a bank, a number on a scale, a better apartment, the perfect body, a nicer car, and so on and so on. All in a dire effort to attain a feeling - happiness. All in an effort to finally be able to exhale, to enjoy, to reap the fruits of our hard work and suffering.
But what if the happiness we’re so desperately searching for - so vehemently in pursuit of - were in each moment of the pursuit itself? What if happiness were something - not outside ourselves - but an abundant and powerful source of energy from deep within us? What if we found happiness - not because of, but despite of, anything external?
Slowly, this questioning of our paradigm allows us to safely deconstruct, brick by brick, the limiting reality we’ve compromised our true selves to exist within.
What if life were actually a compilation of happy moments instead of a destination?
What if I didn’t have to earn happiness?
What if I didn’t have to achieve happiness? What then?
What if in the rush to achieve happiness, we aren’t noticing all the goodness of this moment?
What if instead I allowed life to be easeful - met without resistance?
The amusing paradox is - the sooner we abandon our pursuit of happiness, the sooner we’ll arrive at the destination we’re so painstakingly in pursuit of. The sooner we redirect our energy to the pursuit of presence, the more easily we’re able to recognize, realign with, and take inspired action towards what we, as individuals, truly desire in this life. In this organic expression of the pursuit of presence, we’re embarking on a pursuit of authentic, organic, purpose ; which, in turn, is the essence of happiness.
A purpose to love. A purpose to connect. A purpose to inspire. A purpose to heal. That then is when one is truly happy in the pursuit of happiness.